Things That Piss Me Off #5: Land Line Assumptions

This doesn't fit the format of my usual "Things That Piss Me Off" series, but I feel like venting a bit and I'm using this as an outlet. Here goes...

I'm usually a big fan of PayPal, but not today. Today I found my account locked for security purposes. Change your password blah make sure it has numbers and uppercase letters blah blah verify your address blah blah blah. Whatever... let's get this crap done so I can get on with my digital life. And then what happens during this last step of this verification process? Oops! Sorry... you don't have a home phone, so your account will remain limited until we send you a letter in the mail to verify your address. Yeah... that pisses me off. So here's the "question" I sent to their customer service folks. I'm sure I'll be ignored, but it felt good to get it out anyway.

This isn't a question... just a complaint. I have account limitations because I haven't confirmed my address. However, the only way to confirm my address immediately is with a land line number. I don't have one. So I have to wait for you to mail me a letter before I can do anything with my account? This is a bunch of BS. In an age when more and more people are dropping home phones in favor of cell phones, making this the only way to confirm your account without waiting for snail mail to arrive is BACKWARDS. I remember a time when eBay and PayPal were on the cutting edge... but this seems like you've regressed. I feel like I just walked into a store that won't accept a Visa! Seriously, PayPal?!?!

People, seriously... a lot of us don't have land lines anymore. Stop assuming that we will. Charter, stop trying to bundle a land line with my other services. I don't care how cheap it is... it's money I don't care to spend. My cell phone is just fine. 

Things That Piss Me Off #4: One-Uppers

Eggs... random... I know.
Don't worry.
It will make sense in the end.

Ever thought you had a great story to tell? or something to brag about? or something to complain about? Sure... we all have. Ever had the spotlight stolen by someone who tells a better story right after yours? or has more to brag about? or has experienced something worse than what you're complaining about? Chances are, it has happened. But honestly, this kind of situation doesn't usually piss me off. I'm not arrogant enough to think that every story I tell has to be the greatest ever, or that I'm the absolute best at anything, or that some situation I'm experiencing is the worst case scenario.

However, some people have a tendency to take every story they hear and exaggerate their own just enough that their story is bigger and better than yours. "Oh yeah?" they say. "It's funny you should mention finishing that four-hour test in an two hours! Last year, I took a five-hour test in an hour and a half!" The first time you hear a story like this, it's irritating but it's probably true. If you start to see this as a pattern, however, you're probably dealing with a one-upper: the kind of person who isn't satisfied unless he/she can claim to be the most extreme in any and every situation. You did something? They did it better. You like something? They like it more. You hate something? They hate it more. You couldn't do something? They couldn't do it either, but they tried harder.

You get the idea.

In any case, people like this are often compulsive liars. I'm not sure they even realize how terrible their issue is because they seem to one-up your story without even thinking about it. I almost feel sorry for them. Actually, I do feel sorry for them... until one of their bogus stories follows something I said... and I just get pissed off. Here are a few ways to cope:

• Return the favor. Yeah, I know it's petty... but I think having the biggest/best/coolest/craziest/whatever story is what really charges these peoples' self esteem. Steal a little of that esteem with some made-up stories of your own... crafted to conveniently outdo whatever it is they just said.
• Change your story midstream. In whatever way they start claiming that they've done something bigger/better/whatever, just change your story so that their story is no longer bigger than yours. This is particularly fun with numbers that sound similar, such as fifteen and fifty. You can say fifteen first, then let them one-up your story, and then change your number to fifty. The numbers sound similar enough that they'll at least consider the possibility that they misunderstood you.
• Catch them lying. Tell a story that you know they'll want to one-up you on to several different groups of people in their presence. Each time, change the magnitude of your story and see if they can remember how much greater than you they claimed to be the last time... for even more fun, after some time has passed, tell your story to the first group again... see if your one-upper can keep his story straight when he launches into his mandatory oneupmanship speech. 
• Make it obvious that you stopped paying attention. Since they're feeding on the attention, making a big fuss over not paying attention to them will be like a slap in the face. "Oh, I'm sorry... I must have zoned out. I don't remember a thing you said since I stopped talking."
• Smash an egg on his/her forehead. Okay, so this is probably the least helpful of my suggestions. I wouldn't even suggest actually doing it (unless you know somehow that you won't get in any trouble). I just had to list it, though, because it's what I was thinking about doing the last time I was confronted with one of these conversation bandits.

That'll teach 'em.

Self Publishing with CreateSpace

I've been thinking a lot about #8 and #9, so I did a little Googling last night. I happened to find CreateSpace, which on first glance might be a small-time author's dream come true.

However, after I bookmarked it, I found this article on CNN Money... which makes me wonder what company I'll be in if I join.

I'm not sure... I might give it a shot anyway... something to think about, at least...

Forgiveness

Working on my list some... focusing on #2... doing some thinking and praying... and remembered this video that was shown in Dr. Huffman's class last year. This is powerful.

10 Steps to a Better Me

I'm not the person I want to be, and I'm tired of settling for less than being the person I should. I feel like I have a unique opportunity right now to refocus my life and get things in order. I've come up with a "Top 10" list of things I need to work on, although they aren't in any particular order. In the coming months, I'm going to work on these aspects of my life. I intend for this to be an honest inspection of myself, and I intend to share my progress over time. I hope that those who are closest to me will give me feedback. I'm making this public to hold myself accountable (see #7).

1. Physical Condition
I actually started working on this several weeks ago, so it only makes sense to list it first. I am overweight... not morbidly obese or anything, but overweight enough to be self-conscious. I get tired far too easily to play a decent game of basketball, and at this point I don't even want to think about running full court. I currently weigh 231 pounds (weighed about an hour ago). When I started working on this, I weighed 239. I feel best about myself at around 200, so I'm almost a fourth of the way to my goal already. Weight is only half of the issue, though. I really want to be able to step out on a basketball court and not feel like a chump.
4/15 Edit: Oops... part of that was a lie. I actually wrote this last week and decided not to post it yet. As of this morning, I weigh 229. :-)

2. Forgiveness
There are people in my life that I have not forgiven, in some cases for things that happened decades ago. Most of the time, I'm so laid-back that I don't often feel the need to forgive because it is so rare that I feel deeply hurt. However, when I am deeply hurt, I usually pretend to be over it or pretend I'm alright so that I won't have to admit that I was weak enough to feel pain. I'm tired of having these burdens on my heart, so I'm going to start working on this. I'm not sure exactly how yet. I'm going to do some reading and praying and take it from there. I think I'll start with the people & situations that seem easiest and work my way up from there.

3. Family & Friends
I neglect people I love. I don't call. I don't visit. I don't make time. Part of me hides behind the idea that "if they want to be around me, all they have to do is call," but that isn't the whole truth. People could call, but phones work both ways. I need to do a better job of cultivating relationships rather than only maintaining the most convenient ones. Don't expect a call tomorrow, people, but if you do see me more often in the coming months, know that it is because of this turnaround.

4. Procrastination
If you know me, you know that I never do anything today that I could do tomorrow (unless it's something that I really enjoy). There have been too many times in my life that I've assumed I would be talented enough or capable enough to do things in half the time anybody else could do them and still get by. Arrogant as it might seem, it works most of the time. But I never escape one of those situations without a high level of stress, and I'm tired of having those weeks when everything is due and I haven't started on any of it.

5. Home Upkeep
There are a lot of things around the house that I need to do a better job on. I have a piece of siding that's been gone for a long time and I've never gotten it fixed. Dishes sit in the sink for ages. My lawn never gets mowed until I feel guilty about how high the grass is (which takes some time, believe me). There's a handrail in my garage that has been sitting there since 2007 because I just never bothered to put it back up after painting. I'm sure my neighbors are embarrassed. It's time to work on that.

6. Relationship with God
I've let a lot of things get in the way of this, and I'm glad He is forgiving. Despite all the faults I've been pointing out here, I've felt like the last few years have been amazing. Unfortunately, in those times of less perceived need, I find myself forgetting where my true strength lies: faith. I'm going to leave it at that for now.

7. Finish
I never finish anything. I don't know if it's life-ADD or what, but I never follow any project I start all the way to completion. Whether it's a series of blog posts or a New Year's resolution, I get excited and I start and I never actually finish. I'm hoping that by making this list public, my friends will hold me accountable for it. I'm asking you to give me a hard time if I'm not doing anything about this stuff... okay? I'm giving you permission to give me a hard time. I'm encouraging you to. Please do.

8. Reading & Writing
I was an English major in college because it was easy, but I've always enjoyed good books and I've always wanted to write my own. I've never done it. I've started dozens of times. Have I finished? Nope. See #7. There are a lot of books out there that I want to read, and there are a lot of ideas in my head that need to make it to paper. It's time to get started... and not give up this time...

9. Making My Dreams Come True
I want to move to a big city. I've said New York City and Seattle for ages, but I've never been in a position that was conducive to actually making a move. I don't know how soon it will be, but I want to start making preparations. I also want to get published. See #8. However, I've never made it far enough into a manuscript to even think about submitting it to a publisher. It's time to change that.

10. Something Else
Okay, I ran out of ideas. However, after writing #7, I really don't want to sell myself short and start with a top 10 but end with a top 9. So here's what I need... I'm leaving this open for anyone to share with me what you think I need to work on to be a better me.

Now, all that said... I'm going to post this to Google+ and Facebook. I don't know if anybody will follow the links here, but we'll see what happens. I'm going to continue writing here, but I doubt I'll post to the social networks again (definitely won't post to FB... I claimed to have given up that horrible place but I've spent far too much time on it lately). If you're interested in keeping up with this and helping me reach these goals, subscribe somehow. There are lots of options on the right sidebar.