You know the type. You expect to have a perfectly normal social interaction, but they insist on being so "in your face" that you constantly feel like taking a step back. Here's an example from Seinfeld:
Now, this example is exaggerated a bit... I've never had anyone quite that close. But the idea is the same. Some unfortunate souls are just oblivious to that zone of personal space that we like to keep around us at all times.
As much as the situation pisses me off, though, I have a hard time getting mad at the actual person. I see these folks as terribly devoid of social graces, but pitiable. Thus, I wouldn't want to do anything too nasty. There are some amusing ways to deal with close talkers without being too big of a jerk, though. Off the top of my head, here are some useful strategies for dealing with this issue:
Now, this example is exaggerated a bit... I've never had anyone quite that close. But the idea is the same. Some unfortunate souls are just oblivious to that zone of personal space that we like to keep around us at all times.
As much as the situation pisses me off, though, I have a hard time getting mad at the actual person. I see these folks as terribly devoid of social graces, but pitiable. Thus, I wouldn't want to do anything too nasty. There are some amusing ways to deal with close talkers without being too big of a jerk, though. Off the top of my head, here are some useful strategies for dealing with this issue:
- The "accidental" head-butt. Obviously, you wouldn't want to use this on someone significantly bigger or tougher than you (or if you have a relatively soft head). However, leaning forward as you "trip" and smashing a little face might be a motivator to keep some distance.
- Talk like Daffy Duck. Random? Yes... but talk like this long enough and eventually some spit is going to fly. That brief moment of wiping spit from the eyes is the perfect time to put meaningful distance between yourself and the offending close talker.
- The intentional use of bad breath. You might have to set this one up, but if your close talker is a repeat offender, this can work wonders. Eat something notoriously pungent (such as garlic), or give it a personal touch and eat whatever food they absolutely hate. Then, when they zero in on you, accentuate all of your "H" sounds so that you're blowing that horrendous aroma right into their nostrils.
That'll teach 'em.
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